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The Beauty of the Dark Series
The Beauty of the Dark Series is a set of two young adult romance/drama novels written by Magi Ramon. The series follows the life of Emery Atwood, an exotic dancer and former teen runaway hellbent on escaping her painful past whose life is turned upside-down when she is unexpectedly reunited with her now-successful best friend Jesse Lansing, who is determined to learn the truth about why she ran away. The series is told from Emery's point of view. Themes Pain Avoidance *Due to her history of trauma and pain, Emery could neither mentally nor emotionally handle the effects of being raped and instead rejected them. While she doesn’t deny the rape itself, she does deny the effects it has on her in order to spare herself further pain. Her sole goal is to avoid any more pain in her life, and she realizes that the only way to succeed in this is by not caring about anyone or anything anymore. She does not let her rape interfere with the new life she's built for herself and thus refuses to discuss or think about it. She also refuses to tell anyone about her rape because she doesn't want to relive the emotional pain of it. Distraction *Emery behaves recklessly in order to distract herself from the pain of her past and the reality that is her life. She spends every week night of working at the club and she spends the weekends going to clubs with her friends and partying. *After giving her son away for adoption, Emery threw herself into her work in attempt to avoid the pain that she felt. *After his father was diagnosed with cancer, Jesse threw himself into his work in attempt to avoid the pain he felt. Guilt/Shame Self-Blame *When Emery was raped, she immediately blamed herself for allowing it to happen because she hadn't fought hard enough against her attacker. Her guilt in particular causes her the most pain apart from the emotional trauma itself. *In attempt to cope with his mother's departure, as well as justify why she hadn't taken him as well, Jesse blames himself for her leaving and feels that he did something wrong. When Emery broke up with him, he blamed himself for driving her away. Shameful Sins *Emery refuses to disclose her rape to others in fear that she will be judged and ultimately rejected due to not fighting harder to escape during her rape. *Emery is deeply ashamed over her self-harm phase. This is mostly because deep down she never would've done such a thing. *She is ashamed over her job and her behavior at her job. It is not without difficulty that she appears emotionally unaffected by her job. *In addition to her job, Emery feels ashamed over her partying lifestyle. She knows that it isn't good for her, but she feels that it is the only way to truly escape her pain. Love Loving Yourself *The internal struggle that Emery has with accepting love from others, in particular Jesse, stems from her lack of being able to accept her own love. After her rape, Emery became disgusted with herself and couldn't possibly see any desire about herself anymore now that she was, in her mind, "damaged goods" and thus believed she was incapable of being loved "because that's just how everyone sees a rape victim". Her self-love quickly shattered, only to be replaced by disgust and self-loathing. The thought that she could not be loved anymore as a result of her rape became permanently etched in her brain and eventually caused her to assume that everyone else shared her opinion. She struggles internally with her self-esteem and insecurities despite masquerading as a strong and confident person. This attitude however is a defense mechanism in attempt to cope with her insecurities. Emery decides to reject the possibility of love altogether as she doesn't think she can be loved due to being raped. She doesn't want to face the anticipated pain of being rejected, which she believes would happen once someone found out about her rape. Throughout the series, she constantly questions Jesse's love for her despite his many attempts at reassuring that he loves her regardless of her past. However, she is really trying to justify not loving herself with her assumption that no one else loves nor could love her. Unconditional Love *Unconditional love is unquestionably one of the most important themes in the series. Emery believes that she is unlovable after being raped and after all that she has done since such as her self-harm/medication phase or her partying life. She believes that it is impossible for anyone to love her, but no matter what she does, Jesse, her family and friends always support her and love her without judgment. Love Conquers All *Another example of love throughout the series is the fact that Jesse and Emery are able to find happiness together after all of the obstacles that they faced. From threats to times of trial, the two of them pull through and come out stronger. Selfless Love *Emery, who pretends not to care about anyone, is willing to go to extreme lengths to protect her family and friends even if it means putting herself in harm's way or being forced to confront her rape. Control Caution *Despite Emery's carefree and fun lifestyle, she fears being hurt again and takes certain measures to make sure she is safe at all times. She can't sleep if her door is unlocked or if a window is left open. She makes sure to have mace in her purse at all times, especially since she works at a strip club. She doesn't answer her door unless she knows who it is. She gets anxiety attacks anytime she is out alone as she fears another assault. She refuses to have sexual intercourse ever again because she views sex as a violent act. She sticks a knife inside the door to her garage in case someone might break in. She has a security alarm installed as well as a camera. She doesn't leave a key under her mat in fear of someone robbing or assaulting her. She sleeps with her phone beside her in case of an emergency. She doesn't go anywhere alone in fear of something happening and always tries to be around people who she knows, apart from being alone at home. Many of her anxieties upset her and she tries to remain calm despite her rising fears. Disturbance *Jesse's arrival proves to be a big challenge for Emery as she never planned to run into him ever again and has no control over the situation. She knows that he is the one person that could ruin her attempts at escaping the pain of her past. Determined to move on, she pushes him away and makes sure that he will never discover her secret. She hasn't felt out of control since she left town four years ago and doesn't adjust to the feeling well. Achilles Heel *As her feelings for Jesse continue to grow, Emery becomes confused and frustrated regarding her lack of control involving him. For example, after the two nearly have sex, Emery breaks down in tears as her memories of being raped resurface. Identity Loss of True Self *As Emery built a new life to live in attempt to escape the pain of her past, she lost sight of who she was as she quickly became someone who could adjust to the life she built. Her lies become her reality, and the more she attempts to convince others that she is content with her new life, the more she herself begins to believe it. As she becomes more reckless and carefree, she becomes less and less like herself and eventually turns into the opposite of everything that she ever was. Friendship Despite not being in contact for four years, the friendship between Emery and Jesse was quickly repaired. The fact that they found their way back to each other after all of the trauma and loss they have experienced strengthens their bond as friends. With Jesse's help, Emery also slowly reconnects with her other friends. Trivia *The series was originally titled "Sheltered", then later changed to "All I Want". Finally, it was changed to "The Beauty of the Dark".